The dissipation

- The belief system that 'Life has to be fair' started to be broken down yesterday. Ultimately, I have to be fair to myself. Give myself and others around me a break. Justice (the human form) can't be imposed everywhere. Fighting against the idea of injustice or whatever is just grief.

-The workshop ran over. We did some really cool energy/meditative work though - like bringing 'spirit/god' inside of you. It was amazing how resistant some ppl are to accept that the divine being is within them. *shrug* it made me feel free like a kid though - that goofy happy kid who knows they can do anything. my visualisation became a little Archadian with forest nymph like divine beings dancing all around me as if in celebration of some Bacchus-led festival. we also had to amplify our fears, like really really feel them. that was weird. it must have permeated into my dream state becos i woke as if from a nightmare, and the fear was literally like an air of static around me. i could hear it buzzing in my ears.

- I had to reconnect with the teachings of The Secret again. I did bizarre things like print out their visual aid stuff they have on the website. whatever, it makes me goofy happy. I was jamming in the surgery when no one was around of course. it felt good. happiness is so like a drug though. you have to keep topping up your dose of it, recharging etc. i'm dying to watch a funny movie. I mean I watched '17 again' at the behest of my sister. It was fun, and fun is awesome. I need to watch stupid/happy movies more - next on the list is 'Yes Man'

- Reading real fantasy again, the stuff that is integral and reminds you of why you love the stuff and seek to emulate it. Of course I speak of none other than Great J R R Tolkien and 'The Children of Hurin'. Took me awhile to get my head around the races/relations/geography seeing as its not user friendly to keep flipping to the map at the back. It was gifted to me by my mother who always seem to know what I desire without me ever speaking of it, as if she picks up the transmission on another plane. Bless her to bits.

Belief systems

The energy workshops I've been going to with mum have asked us all to look at belief systems we've all inherited into our being over the years and how many have become redundant and hold no purpose and so are holding us back from 'moving' into the life we truly want.

1. that you cannot be weak.

today i thought of this one:
2. that life has to be fair.

in a bizarre way i am thankful for the hours spent here in the surgery which keep me away from home. not looking forward to not having a kitchen for the next couple of weeks what with everything now being the dining room. crazeeeeeee

Merci beaucoup pour:

- My parent's infinite patience with me.
- Time spent all day yesterday with them
- Ka j buying me a Topic ^^
- The understanding of my new doc
- Stories of courage that reinforce your belief in making your own miracles
- The warmth of home and home food